God loves Freddie.

(In case Freddie ever wonders if God cares about him in a unique, intimate, and personal way, I'm writing this down - raising his Ebenezer, stacking the stones upon which my favorite four year old can build an altar of praise to the One Who created him and who loves him as far as the East is from the West.)

The truth is: I left out a little tidbit from our trip to Tigertown. I didn't want it to taint what was, in reality, a fun family outing, so I didn't mention it. Because I've seen God work on Freddie's behalf since then, though, I want to write it down now.

So on Tuesday nite, Freddie had a pretty massive allergic reaction to a walnut. He had the tiniest of bites - we're talking about as much as a pencil eraser's worth - of a walnut that'd been baked into a brownie served in the JMI Sports hospitality area at Littlejohn Coliseum. Initially, the reaction was totally mild, but by the time we got home, he'd thrown up about 6 or 7 times and was HEAD TO TOE in hives.

Let me back up: for a few months, I've suspected Freddie is allergic to some tree nuts. He's had very mild reactions - but reactions, nonetheless - to pecans (on top of the sweet potato casserole at Thanksgiving dinner), to hazelnuts (I thought he'd LOVE a Nutella sandwich. Nope!), and, now, to walnuts. Almonds and cashews, however, he can - and does! - eat in an unending supply. How weird is that?!

Until Tuesday, the reactions looked like this: he'd take a bite and immediately spit it out, start scraping his tongue, and pulling on his ears. He'd act a little stunned for the next 30 minutes or so  before he'd bounce back and be totally normal. Still, the behavior, though very infrequent, has been enough to catch my attention, so I've just been keeping notes of these things to talk with at Freddie's four year check-up.

That's exactly how the reaction started on Tuesday. He'd no sooner taken in the bite than he immediately screamed and spit it out. It actually seemed like a milder-than-usual reaction. He perked up pretty quickly and enjoyed watching the game - well, playing with SnapChat filters while the rest of us (tried to) watch the game.

I added the incident to my list of things to talk over with the doctor and went on with life. As the boys and I drove home, however, Freddie threw up. And then he threw up again. And then again and then a couple more times. I thought, "Crap. Now, he can't go to school tomorrow, because he's got the stomach bug. I wonder if I should keep Jones home, too - just in case. I hope I don't get the stomach bug!"

By the time we got to Asheville, I'd stripped him (at his request) out of his vomit-covered Batman jammies and wrapped him in a towel that was still in the car from Jones's Monday swim lessons. We were driving by the Long Shoals Road exit when I turn around to see he's unstrapped his carseat and is scratching his back. Freddie's scratching is nothing new; his unstrapping himself to do it, however, is.

I made him re-strap, still assuming it was a stomach bug. I raced home, so I could put him to bed and end his incessant whining. He was obviously miserable, but I assumed it was because he was tired and covered in vomit. I had no idea what was really going on until I pulled him out of the carseat and saw that there was barely a spot on his body that wasn't textured like the ceilings in certain homes (ie., ours).

Hives.

So THAT'S why he was screaming that his piggies were itching.

I got him in a bathtub and dosed him with Benadryl. When I got him out of the tub, he was trembling so much that I wondered if he was having a seizure. I don't think he was. I'm pretty sure he was just cold from the next-to-naked car ride (though I'd cranked the heat up to 89 for the entire ride) and then the lukewarm bathwater. The trembling stopped as soon as I'd lathered him with Eucerin and wrapped him in clean pajamas and his Batman bathrobe.

Then he threw up again. And I was scared - really scared, like more scared than I've ever been before as a mom. Should I take him to the ER? Could I get there in time? Can I give him more Benadryl? What do I do with Jones?

I did what I always do in these types of crises - I called his Aunt Dolly, who NEVER FAILS to calm me down with her unbelievable poise and bedside manner. She said so long as the Benadryl was working, the ER wasn't necessary. The Benadryl WAS working. The hives were going away, and so long as I was holding him tightly, he was starting to relax. So was I.

I kept him up until 11:30 - we watched "Special Agent: OSO" in my bed - and then I put him in his room, where he proceeded to sleep like a baby until about 7 the next morning.

After this experience, I thought to myself, "Yep. We will DEFINITELY be referred to an allergist." I made mental notes of all that happened in order to share then with Dr. O'Donnell at Freddie's February 13th check-up.

When I texted some friends to tell them about it the next morning, one of them said, "Do you think you should call his doctor to see if you can move the appointment up?" I hadn't really thought of that. I'm not one to call the doctor, really (why would I when I have Aunt Dolly?!). But I called them, anyway, leaving a message for a nurse, describing what had happened and saying, "He's fine now. He's even at school! But if you think I should come in sooner, I will."

She called back pretty quickly and immediately said phrases like "I don't wanna scare you," "Epi-pen" and "allergist." In fact, within two hours of my placing the call, Dr. O'Donnell had called in the scrip, and the referral had been made. She also corrected my calendar. I'd written down February 13th for Freddie's appointment. It is actually March 13th - the first of MANY reasons I'm really, REALLY glad I called (which is not like me to do).

As soon as I knew where we were heading with this, I started praying three very specific things:

1) a super, surprisingly-fast referral. I know how long these things typically take, and a BIG part of me thinks his allergy is related to pollen (for reasons I'll go into if it's affirmed), so to get him on a course of treatment before pollen season starts would be AMAZING. All of these nut reactions have happened since he had a reaction to pollen on the face of the lake last April. Since then, he's also started reacting to the fur of dogs (my sister's, Dolly's, our friends the Godfrey's) he's been around without incident his whole life. Plus, his skin stayed flared up ALL SUMMER last year. It never cleared up, so I really think it's a pollen problem, but we will see. The point is, to know if it is or isn't before the first pollen fall would be amazing. But for that to happen, given that we're a month or so from pollen season, the ball's got to get rolling more quickly than these things generally do.

2) an allergist who will treat him thoroughly but not OVER treat him. I don't want to be giving medicines or treatments that aren't necessary, and up to now, he's lived a completely normal, unrestricted life, and I'd love to keep it that way - avoiding, of course, the nuts that seem to be causing problems.

3) that God would affirm for us that we had our guy. I don't know any allergists. I wouldn't even know where to begin to find one. Plus, when you're getting a referral it's a little bit like Russian Roulette - you get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit. So I just prayed that God would show us that His selection to care for Freddie wasn't random, but the perfect person to care for our Bear.

By yesterday at 5 p.m., I had my answers - all three of them, and THIS is what I want for Freddie to read. I want him to read it and stand as amazed as I do that the God Who created the universe, as vast and boundless as it is, was intimately involved in the minute details of a four year old's allergy referral. He IS, after all, our Father, full of love and concern for His precious children.

1) I got the call from Allergy Partners at 4:55 yesterday. The appointment coordinator asked if I wanted their Asheville office or the one in Clyde. In a move that was HIGHLY unusual for me, I said, "Clyde." She said, "I don't have anything in Clyde, until ..." I'm thinking she's gonna say, like, "May," but no. It's "... next Wednesday."

Next Wednesday, as in ONE WEEK FROM THE DAY THE REFERRAL WAS MADE, AS IN THREE OR FOUR WEEKS BEFORE POLLEN SEASON STARTS, AS IN I HAVE CHILL BUMPS EVEN NOW WHEN I WRITE THAT OUT.

2) She told me we'd be seeing Dr. William McCann. As she continued giving me the spiel for what to do to prepare for the appointment, I was Googling the good doctor. Not only does he have REALLY high HealthGrades, but he writes this on his website bio:

"I strive to provide each patient with a comprehensive and personalized evaluation and treatment plan that not only treats his or her condition but fits with his or her lifestyle. I firmly believe that we should work together to control allergic diseases and not let them control you."

Sounds to me like he's not into over-treating, either.

Two for two.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

3) As I continued to read Dr. McCann's bio, I saw unequivocal confirmation that God had given us the PERFECT person to treat Freddie. He writes, "I have a particular interest in working with patients, both adult and pediatric, suffering from ... eczema."

My baby Bear was first diagnosed with eczema when he was 2.5 months old - which, upon reflection, sort of strengthens my gut instinct that his issue is primarily with pollen. I remember the day I walked into pick him up from his nap. He was in his Pack and Play in his room at my parents', and the smooth-skinned baby I'd put to bed woke up with measles-like bumps all over him. He had a check-up that day or soon after, so I showed it to Dr. O'Donnell then, who said, "He's probably just getting over a virus or something, so this is how he's showing that," but he'd had zero symptoms of anything. Still, I assumed that was that.

Now, I wonder if that was his first reaction to pollen. In retrospect, it'd have been mid-March, which would've been about the right time for the start of pollen season - his first exposure to it.

Who knows.

What I DO know is that Freddie has struggled with eczema for almost his entire life. To read we've been given a doctor who has a specialty in eczema is a very obvious affirmation that God has led us to the perfect person.

I am so grateful.

1) I'm grateful that the reaction wasn't worse than it was.

2) I'm grateful that I got home safely - especially since I was alone with the boys on a lot of dark and lonely roads. If something more had happened during the drive ...

3) I'm grateful we're getting this dealt with before the pollen kicks in again.

4) I'm grateful I said "Clyde" when 99 times out of 100, I'd have said "Asheville." Though I didn't think about it at the time, it occurred to me soon after that, if Freddie DOES end up having to do allergy shots (and I HOPE HE DOESN'T, but if he does ...), Dr. McCann's office is LITERALLY TWO MINUTES from both Clyde First Baptist Preschool and Haywood Christian Academy. It COULD NOT BE MORE CONVENIENT for either of those schools. Even if I eventually homeschool, Clyde is SO MUCH EASIER for us to access than Asheville.

5) I'm grateful I didn't have the Benadryl I typically take every where I go. Having seen Freddie's comparatively mild reactions to nuts and dog fur, I've been carrying Benadryl in my car (and keeping bottles at my parents' and in-laws') for most of the last year. When I left for New York last Thursday, I was VERY proud of the fact that I'd remembered to transfer the bottle to Jeremy's car for the weekend. The first thing Jeremy said when Freddie reacted on Tuesday was, "Do you have the Benadryl?"

Well, dangit.

The "pride" of remembering to put it in to Jeremy's car went right before the "fall" of forgetting to put it back in mine.

But now, I see my forgetting as God's kindness. Had I had it with me, I'd have given him some right then. I'd likely have stopped the reaction, which would've spared me the panic, but at the same time, I'd have masked the severity of a problem that needs to be addressed, so I'm thankful that God redeemed my mistake and used it to be sure Freddie got the care that he needs.

6) I'm grateful that the guy who lives two doors down from us is an EpiPen salesman. He's also a friend and client of Jeremy's. As soon as our pharmacy received Freddie's Rx, they called me to say that our insurance would've cover any and that the cash price was $489. I told them to fill it anyway (I figure Freddie's worth AT LEAST $489, right? :)) and that I'd try to find a coupon.

When I called to tell Jeremy, he remembered Gary. Gary told him about a coupon online that brought the price down to basically Epipen's cost. It's still expensive, but it's almost half of what we'd expected to pay.

Again, grateful.

7) I'm grateful that Gary has already shown us how to use the EpiPen - and that Gary's wife is a nurse, who's two doors down, in case Aunt Dolly is ever unavailable for my panicked phone calls.

8) Finally, I'm grateful for how God has given me peace through a time that I thought would be filled with panic.  Nothing calms a Christian's fear more than knowing God is always with you, and nothing says, "I'm right here. This is part of My plan" quite as loudly as the answers to prayer He so kindly - and quickly - gave us yesterday.

After I put the boys to bed last nite, I sat down to thank Him for what He'd done. Because I write down most of my prayers (otherwise, my mind is all over the place), I can tell you exactly what I said to Him:

"Father, my heart is overflowing with gratitude at Your kind answers to my prayers. Thank you. Thank You for the flood of peace that pours on my head, as I experience Your crystal clear direction in my baby's allergy treatment ..."

That I've had peace instead of panic is what absolutely astounds me the most - until I put down my pen from praying and opened my Bible. It "randomly" opened to Psalm 16, and my eyes fell on verses 7 and 8.

"I bless the Lord, Who gives me counsel. In the nite also, my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

So there you have it, Part 1 of Freddie's allergy journey. My prayers are that he's one who'll outgrow his allergy, and that he'll never, ever need the Epipens I won't ever let out of my sight. Still, I am grateful to the One Who's led us all the way, and I want Freddie to always know how deeply his Heavenly Father cares for the little "Bear" He has kept as the apple of His eye.